Monday, September 13, 2010

So Dynamik is moving!

Not sure where yet, but I'll post the URL soon.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Fantasia Problem

I honest-to-goodness did not want to reopen this blog with celebrity commentary (because internet surfers demand substance, yo!) but I feel like this particular situation is something that should be discussed, especially with everyone harping on Fantasia like she deserves zero sympathy for dealing with a married man. But I am here to argue that Fantasia's decision to involve herself with a married man isn't really her fault at all.

I first witnessed the dissent when photos of Fantasia and the Married Guy popped up on every gossip blog known to man. Reports said that the guy was still married, but that he and his wife were separated. Reading that, I immediately knew how the two went from "just talking" to jet skiing off the coast:

Fantasia:'re single?
Married Guy: Yes and no.
Fantasia: What?
Married Guy: Well, see, I'm married. But we're separated. My heart's not in it, you know?
Fantasia: [Beams] Oh! OK, then!

That, my dear reader, is the problem. The fact that a married person can say that they are separated and gain seasonal tickets to Indulgence Land! Along with the fact that being told that a married person is separated gives the impression that they are up for grabs. Where does this frame of thinking come from? Who created this concept? I can't tell you myself, but I can tell you that for as long as I can remember, people see "Separation" in a marriage as practically "divorced."

You see it more often than you think. On reality television, on gossip websites, in your community—most legally separated people run around doing whatever they want, with zero intention to get themselves together and possibly re-patch their marriage. So much so that it has practically become acceptable. Fantasia said that she was told that her Married Guy was separated, and that she "did nothing wrong." You can't hold the woman entirely accountable for her actions, because society taught her that the concept of "separation" merely means "the waiting period the state requires before you can get divorced."

If you want to point fingers and crucify anyone, do so at the society that disrespects the whole sanctity of marriage thing.

But let's also throw in another factor. Let's say that Fantasia found out that the Married Guy really wasn't legally separated, and that he was just talkin' out of his ass. I don't expect a person who has made a great emotional investment in someone to drop them at the drop of a dime. Love can be a beast sometimes, and can convince you to do a whole lot of stuff you normally wouldn't do. If you can't be empathetic to that, you probably haven't been in love like that before. Or, like I said, you react differently to situations like that.

Let me also state that I am speaking more on the topic of how people view Legal Separation than speaking in Ms. Barrino's defense, because I honestly do not know all of the facts, and can only go on what she's told the media. But I will say that the next time you decide to burn someone at the stake for involving themselves in a similar situation, take a step back and realize that not everyone possesses the same amount of wisdom as yourself, and leave it alone.